Like everyone else I also had a lot of expectations from the year 2010, I had had made plenty of resolutions which included making everyone happy specially my parents by studying, obviously! But I didn't know that the year itself or to be very precise the beginning of the year 2010 had something in store for me and my entire family which shook us completely.
12th January, 2010 was just like any other day
during the winter vacations. My day usually started with the Mathematics
tuition. We had a test on Binomial Theorem; I had practiced a lot of questions
related to the topic and was even sure of performing well in the test. In the
morning I was awakened by the telephone bell and I was quite surprised that no
one that day had bothered to wake me up, not even my mother. Suddenly, I heard
some sobs coming from the master bedroom. I heard my dad talking in a very serious
manner to the person on the other side of the phone. I tried to figure out what
exactly was happening, but I could not. I got up and went up to my mom and
asked her what the matter was. I was quite surprised to see tears trickling
down her cheeks; she just gave me blunt answer by saying that granny was very
ill and that we needed to rush urgently to Gorakhpur (where she lived).I knew
that granny had not been keeping well for a couple of months, but the doctors had
assured us that she was recovering, but this sudden seriousness? My father
immediately called up his friend, who was a travel agent and ordered a taxi,
our motive was to reach Gorakhpur, as early as possible. But I knew that
something was wrong and I insisted my mom in telling me the truth. After a lot
of persistence she told me that granny died as early as 2:30 A.M in the
morning. The cause of the death seemed unknown but according to doctors –it was
a heart failure.
I didn't understand
what to do, it was as though the entire roof had collapsed on my head and I
felt dizzy. I caught hold of the side of the bed and sat down. I cried and
cried and felt helpless. I regretted of not having visited her in her last
days. But the fact was that we weren't prepared both mentally and emotionally
for this. I thought of my grandpa who must have been completely shattered. I
was told not disclose this to my brother, Avi who was still asleep. At sharp
10am we headed for Gorakhpur. I. My dad was very silent during the entire
journey; my mom had tears in her eyes and throughout journey she kept telling
me about the time she had spent with granny in the past years. My brother knew
nothing about the death, he kept talking in a nonchalant manner about the things
he’ll do on reaching granny’s place. And as far as I was concerned, I just
closed my eyes and kept remembering her, her gentle, loving and caring nature.
I being her eldest grandchild was pampered a lot by her. I wanted to know the
time by my watch so I took out the wristwatch from the pocket of my jacket. I
remembered the watch given to me by granny as a present when I was in class 8th.I
held it close to my heart and promised to keep it safe forever.
Our aim was to reach Gorakhpur as early as possible. Phone
calls kept coming throughout the journey; these calls were of our anxious
relatives who wanted to know in how much time we would probably reach. We
reached Gorakhpur at 4:30 am in the morning. I did not know how to react- empty
streets, dogs howling, those tall street lights, that old Shiva temple where
granny visited almost every day seemed to give me shivers. My uncle opened the
gate and stood there folding his hands, greeting us. Avi and I entered the
gloomy house. I remembered our earlier visits when granny used to stand at the
same entrance and hug us all. We passed the lobby of the house. The drawing
room is on the left side of the lobby-there lay her dead body muffled up with clothes.
Beside her was grandpa who looked at us, his eyes were red and swollen and
seemed helpless. At the side of the room the was an ”angithi” burning red and
warming the room and the people there. I could recognize some other people who had
also come there to express their condolences to the departed soul. Avi and me
were led to another room which belonged to my uncle, Avi asked me what was
happening, he could not figure out anything I was silent and I think that it
was my silence that made him understand everything, as he just caught hold of
my arm and told me ”You know, granny is no more, and I never wanted you to cry,
so I did not tell you earlier”, he knew what all had happened but did not tell
me earlier so that I do not cry. I just caught hold of him and cried. It was
around 5:30 in the morning all our relatives had arrived .Since Avi had slept
by that time I washed my face and went to granny’s room .Her room is not very
big, but mostly there was a plethora of medicines, some stains of vomiting.
Most of her dirty clothes were wrapped up ready to be given to the sweeper. I
saw her pink slippers which she had bought on her visit to Muzzafarnagar-ready
to be given away. We children were not allowed to enter the room where the corpse
was kept. I also met a couple of my cousins after a long time. As per the
custom, the body of the dead is washed and then made to wear new clothes before
being buried. This done, we were told to pay our last homage to granny by
touching her feet. I promised myself that I would not cry, but what followed
was- me holding her feet and shedding tears endlessly. No comforting could cure me…..memories….only
memories kept trickling down. Those tears showed how much I loved her. Yes I
loved her very much. One thing I regret is not having told her how much I loved
her, how much importance she held in my life. And as I now flip through old albums
containing her photographs, I indeed feel that “if mothers are god’s first
gifts then grandmothers’ are surely a bonus”….
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